There are things he still needs to say, things that he needs to clarify because Dean still isn't understanding what he's asking. He can figure out who he is in time, certainly. He just doesn't understand where he fits in. If he's not a brother, if he's not a friend, if he's not a comrade in arms or a weapon to be used then what the hell is he?

"I think that I am falling. Like I did before. During the apocolypse. Becoming human." It's the only explanation for the series of symptoms that Castiel is experiencing, and really he should have seen it before - maybe he even did - but he doesn't really want to admit it even now because it's too frightening. "I'm not healing the way that I should be, I'm tired, exhausted, I slept last night - eight hours. I'm hungry, and I have a headache."

"Fix it?" Castiel laughs slightly bitter and sad all at the same time, and every bit of it aimed at himself. "Dean, we don't. I have fallen so far, rebelled so thoroughly. I believe that heaven has simply decided that I am no longer welcome. I've crossed too many lines. If this is what I am becoming then there is no going back this time."

He's quiet for a moment and then turns back to Dean, a helpless look on his face. "It's terrifying. It was before, but I honestly didn't think we would survive the apocalypse I wasn't worried about where I would fit in in the world. Now things are different. I have no identity here, no connections, just you and Sam. In that respect this might not be so bad, except that the current state of our relationship has left me thoroughly shaken. And for that reason, when I ask you what you see in me what I am asking is ... have I lost you?"

"I don't want a life out there. I wasn't brought up valuing family and jobs and security the way that humans are. I am in this life whether I am with you or not, I would just rather be with you."

He takes a few steps towards Dean when he explains that this is merely a fight, and Castiel looks doubtful. "I asked you how I can fix things between us. You said that we can't. You haven't asked me to leave, no, but that's not what I'm asking. I'm asking about you and me. Are you simply angry, something that we can resolve? Or have I fallen too far out of your respect. I want to be here, but I won't stay if you're only letting me remain because you would feel guilty putting me out. I want to repair our friendship. I want you to trust me again. I don't expect an immediate fix, I just need to know if it's possible."

"That's not what I mean!" He's losing his temper and he doesn't mean to but he is so frustrated with his inability to communicate and express himself and he longs for the days when Dean could just look at him and know what he meant.

"I'm not asking if I can stay. I'm asking if you can stand it if I do. I never wanted to leave you, Dean. Do you remember what I said to you when I got back? You asked me what I wanted to do and I told you I wanted to be a hunter. That I wanted to ride shotgun. The first thing I did was return to you before even pausing to clean myself up. I went straight to you. And that is what I do when I have free will. I only left you after it had been taken away."

There are so many things that Castiel would tell him about that night and why he'd left. He won't do it right now seeing the way that Dean is turned away, gripping the chair, not finishing his sentences. He's betrayed himself some, and Castiel has begun to understand the real problem at hand.

Dean is often like a timed bomb waiting to go off when caught up in his emotions, and Castiel is almost certain that he's the last person who should try to deal with him like this. The fact is that he wants to be the one to do it though, and though he knows he's probably only going to further upset Dean now, he has to try.

He steps behind him and places his hand on Dean's shoulder. "I love you, Dean. I didn't leave you, I was taken."

Cas is close enough that he's in that no personal space zone that used to irritate Dean so severely, and it leaves Dean trapped between the back of the chair and Castiel. "I know that you don't, but if I let this go now won't we just end up back at the same impasse in a few hours, days?"

He steps back, what other choice does he have? He can't force Dean to understand and accept him any more than he can force him to forgive him and he doesn't want something he's wrung out of him anyway. What he does know, is that he has very few options at this point, and he can't live without Dean in his life. If he is becoming human and Dean can't forgive him then he is afraid he will end up going down a very dark road.

"I'll leave you alone then." There's no sense bringing it back up, if they're just going to end up back in this same spot over and over again. Not until Castiel has a solution. "I'm going to walk around the bunker. I won't leave the building."

No, no Sam did not sleep. Not that he really expected to. He's pointedly not thinking about Sarah right now because if he thinks about Sarah he's going to lose all of his resolve and then her death will be for basically nothing. So instead he's doing what comes easiest to him and that's worry about Dean and his angel.

Which had turned out to be a mistake, but seeing as he couldn't make any headway with one idiot he thinks he'll try the other.

"What's going on with you and Cas?" He ignores Dean's question outright, and goes straight for what's bugging him. No sense dancing around the issue or building up to it. Dean won't be any more excited to talk about it.

Yep, closed down immediately, just about what Sam had expected. He comes in the room and takes a seat on the chair facing Dean's bed - the one on the blank side of the room that Sam has never and will never comment on. It's not his business. What is his business is what's happened while Dean was sulking.

"You sure about that? I mean I've had my share of arguments over the years but usually they don't end in bondage."

"At least I think that's what they usually call it when someone demands to be chained in a dungeon. If you have a better word for it I am all ears." And yeah it's ridiculous the way he is going about telling Dean this, but the whole fucking situation is so god damn ridiculous that Sam just doesn't have any proper means of expressing how irritated he is with both of them that they let it escalate to this level of stupidity. And Cas, the moron, had just been so bloody earnest and insistent that Sam had decided that it wasn't his angel, it wasn't his problem. He'd do what he wanted and then Dean could deal with it however he chose.

"He said he didn't know any other way to ensure that he couldn't be taken by the angels and couldn't fall back on any bad programming now that he's lost the angel tablet and leave and then demanded I lock him in the dungeon. Apparently those chains are angel-proof as well. I told him no, of course but then he started to get worked up so I figured it was better to just give him what he wanted."

Actually, Sam feels a little bit weird about this, like he's tattling on dad to mom or something - and he really, really doesn't want to examine how accurate that is.

Of course his brother's going to fly off the handle, because there's obviously no way that either of these idiots are going to respond calmly or rationally to one another. Sometimes he wishes they'd just get it over with. Bitch face firmly in place now, Sam crosses his arms.

"Look, Dean, obviously he's being an idiot about this but seriously? I know what he's put you through, god knows I know. But I also know that it's Cas and that he loves you, and that when you're afraid of losing something you act like a complete bastard - which in case you missed it, is what you're doing. So go down there, calmly, unchain him and work this out like adults not ... emotionally stunted teenagers on a daytime soap."